It’s been a minute. We have had a spate of fine, warm weather. Even though we have closed the pool for the season, I will still take it.
The Peppers
As of today, we still have peppers producing! Slowly, yes, but still. Before I thought we would have cold weather set in, we picked the last of the red Serrano peppers (early October). Dried and powdered. This is the reason I grow these beside hot sauce – the pepper powder is all our own. It’s clean, unadulterated. It’s something I can count on.
Atlanta
We took a short trip to Atlanta, where our story started over 20 years ago at a children’s television network’s IT division. Eric was the first webmaster, I was, well, not sure. I gave up a career as an e-commerce consultant to work with boys who played with water guns and write the most brainless, rote website code (raw HTML for goodness sakes) for selling Chinese-made trinkets to children. It was apparently where I was needed.
I’ll never forget young just-a-coworker Eric saying “we are surely going to hell for this” in his blue sweaters with his little blue eyes. Handsome. Funny. He has always made me laugh so easily. Yeah, right. As if. I remember thinking.
One of my oldest friends lives in Atlanta still. I talk with him nearly every week. I have always had much better friends in men than in women. I’m not sure why. We spent most of the weekend tootling around together – shopping at the Asian groceries, visiting old haunts, eating food. He was happy with my hair and my cashmere sweater but agreed that I have gained weight since we last saw each other (I skated every day then). A gay man will always tell you the truth about how you look and for that I am very very grateful, even if it sometimes stings. I love him dearly. I took his picture with Eric but that will remain in my private archive. It has been too long since I saw him and now that we are only 3 hours away, I won’t let much time pass without a hug and some Brazilian food with him.
Eric and I went to go see a comedy show. The actor was amazing and hilarious and it was quite blue. We had VIP tickets so we got a free gin and tonic and a meet and greet. He was gracious and kind, and told Eric that I was definitely a woman worth keeping. High praise from an old-school drag queen!
Going to Atlanta to see a drag queen comedy show is not what you might expect a married, older, small town conservative Christian woman like me to do. But it was fun and interesting and wayyyyy outside my box. I live for doing things that are unexpected. I think it builds a sense of compassion inside of me. Plus, well, she or he was funny as all getout. I laughed SO HARD.
This actor reminds me so much of my hilarious grandmother – she was from the Bronx (as was this actor) and shared the same accent and mannerisms. My grandmother was beautiful – a former model – but was terribly camera-shy (I come by it naturally, I suppose). She wore fur coats even though she lived in Las Vegas. She was ostentatious and loud and brilliant and foul-mouthed and I adored her. She thought I was embarrassingly fat and hated that I was a “fucking Republican”. I miss her.
So given that I had had a drink (shhhh or two, they were small and free). I desperately had to pee. The only restrooms were ungendered. And well, I was one of only two women in the entire audience of over 100. But the men were so kind to me (and I had to go more than once). I was not blessed with a poker face, so they could read me immediately – I was terrified. But away I went. Looked past the urinal and off to the stall. A man held the door open for me. Chivalry still is a thing in the south.
I wasn’t afraid of the men. I was afraid of the urinal. Silly.
I came back from Atlanta feeling grateful to come back to beautiful Tennessee. The weekend reminded me that I will always be a bit of a party girl – even though I look like a crunchy middle-aged hausfrau. I think there are people who share my same demographic that could never see themselves having a weekend like we did. I understand. But for me, it was living on the edge and living on the edge is well, a bit edgy. And I like edgy sometimes.
After years of locking myself away, terrified (after I was attacked in our home), the whole COVID fears, and near death in the hospital, I am finally back to the land of the living. I will not go back to living in fear again. And I will embrace the edge sometimes as well. Just because I can.
And I will love without restraint – even though I am a card-carrying genXer, mindful of showing emotions as we were trained to do. DadbodVetran said it well:
Chief among the fruits of the Spirit is love. And since I was touched by Jesus Christ, I cannot do anything other than love. There are people who have wronged Eric and me in ways that would make the average person’s jaw drop, and although I should hate them, I still love them. Dangnabit, I want to HATE. I’m used to that. But it just isn’t there anymore.
A new friend gave me a huge, unexpected, hug this past weekend. I will admit I was at one point kindof terrified of her: she’s very together and smart with a lovely family. I am often terribly afraid that people here see me as kindof a low-class drifter – as a person without an intact family, an unconventional background, no children, new to Tennessee, a newly Saved person, a reformed party girl from California or Hawaii or someplace else who is too different to embrace. Sniff sniff, I’m all verklempt. She’s amazing, not terrifying. That hug meant so much to me. And they will know we are Christians by our love.
but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
In the Garden and the Home
Planted lettuce seedlings with cups used as collars. It worked so well! The cups are clear, so you can see inside and light got through. Result: upright heads with very little soil contact (read: no bugs, no snails, no slimy critters!). I think it was the best thing I did all season. Redeeming after my squash debacles.
Auggie got sick. He had a UTI and it took over fast. Our dear vet got him in the same day (unheard of!) and we got him treated. I love our veterinarian. She takes such great care of us – she’s smart, hardworking, a person I feel blessed to know. And Augs is much better now. His dementia has taken funny turns and well, we just love on him every day. He’s running about more than ever and just having a grand time. I am very grateful. He’s the best.
There’s more but I am tired of hearing myself talk in my head to write this down. Here’s the highlight real.
Friday, you are so blessed. Relax a little, will ya?
